The Wedding Day

I never dreamed that at age 46, I'd be planning a wedding. I'd pretty much given up hope of saying "I do," and why not? I'd been single my whole life and there were no prospects even on the distant horizon. Truthfully, I wasn't thrilled with the idea of being single forever, but it wasn't something I obsessed about either. Oh, I supposed it bothered me around the holidays, Valentine's Day, but for the most part, my life was full. I had family, a job I enjoy, good friends.

Funny, isn't it? It's always when you decide to stop worrying about something that everything seems to work out. I met John in October 2004. I'd known his family for years, and I'd met him once, although he doesn't remember. We met (again) because of his sister's dog, Arrow. Barb (John's sister) was going out of town and asked if I could dog sit Arrow. She'd already asked John if he could watch Arrow, but he wasn't available the whole week. Neither was I. So, John and I split the job and met when he came to pick up Arrow. We met, we talked, and that was it. (There were no real sparks...he showed up 45 minutes early and I had just gotten out of the shower. My hair was in a towel and I was wearing my favorite, 10-year old ratty green bathrobe. I was a vision of loveliness...NOT!)

Surprisingly, he called a couple of weeks later and asked me out. He had just moved back to Dayton after 20+ years in New Jersey. (He has never admitted this, but I think he was just calling anyone he thought would go out with him.) So, sure, I said, I'd love to go out to dinner. No immediate connection, but we had a lot in common. It wasn't long, however, after we started dating that I knew John was Mr. Right. We started talking about marraige in May and in September John proposed. (If I'd left it up to John, we would have been married sooner, but I had it in my head we needed to date for a year. Not sure why I was stuck on that, but, in retrospect, we both agree it was a good move.) We set the date for December 28, sold my house, had a gigantic garage sale, moved everything into his house and I took up temporary residence with my parents.

Maybe I'm not like most girls, but I hadn't really thought about what my wedding would be like. I didn't have any expectations. Maybe because of that, everything was perfect.

Everyone was able to make it home for Christmas and the wedding. The wedding festivities began December 23 with a girls-evening-of-beauty, organized by my sister-in-law, Karen. We spent Christmas Eve with John's family, Christmas day with mine, the day after Christmas with both families. Tuesday was the rehearsal dinner. It was lovely. And Wednesday was the big day.

Other than having a bit too much time on my hands Wednesday afternoon, the whole day was great. Everyone did their best to keep me distracted. John and I went to breakfast, my sister drove me to have my hair done, my other sister met me for lunch. I tried to walk around the mall, but I was too nervous...maybe because everyone was calling me to ask me if I was nervous. I had several hours to sit in my hotel room and think, worry, worry and worry some more. (I was nervous about crying uncontrollably during the ceremony.) I have to say the nerves got to me a lot more than I thought they would. Once I got to Benham's Grove and saw John in his tuxedo, I calmed down.

My neices had been praying for me in the days leading up to the wedding. Praying that I wouldn't breakdown in the middle of the ceremony is a puddle of tears. I confess, while I was flattered, I didn't believe the prayers would work. It was an amazing feeling...the minute the bagpiper started to play and dad and I walked down the steps, I felt an overwhelming sense of calm. God really showed up. Thanks to Shea and Laurel, my faith in prayer has been renewed.

The ceremony was brief, but the words were perfect. As soon as we were introduced as Erin and John Fitzharris, the party began. We had drinks, a delicious dinner and headed to the barn for the reception. We, as our caterer said, "danced ourselves silly." Every goofy song you ever hear at a wedding -- Hokey Pokey, the chicken dance, Shout, YMCA, Rocky Top -- we danced to it. Even my new husband, who insisted he couldn't dance, spent the better part of the evening on the dance floor. My brother-in-law, Bill, stole the show during "Rock Lobster." My other brother-in-law, Jay, danced with his tie on his head (we're still not sure what that was all about....). My nephew walked into a post and was out of commission for the rest of the evening. (We missed you, Murphy.) My other nephew, Jack, slept through most of the party. (That kid could sleep through anything.)

At the end of the evening, the limo picked us up, stopped at Starbuck's drive-thru, and headed to our hotel. John and I must have sat up for another hour, too wound up to sleep. It was all just perfect.

We were so grateful that everyone, with the exception of John's daughter, Kelly, was able to make it to the wedding. (Kelly joined us the day after the wedding.) John's daughter, Erin, was there. All his brothers, sisters, in-laws, nieces and nephews and his mom were there. (John's father, Jack, passed away in 2002. I'd say we wished he could have been with us, but we suspect he saw the whole thing.) My parents were there. All my siblings, their spouses and kids, even my aunt and uncle were there. We also had a few close friends who were able to come. Sharing that day with family and friends was what made it so special. We felt loved.

So, now I'm married. We didn't take a honeymoon until later in January. I'll save that for another post. Until later.